Where Faith Abides, God Provides/My Modern Day Journey in Faith/ “Enlightenment Series”

Have you ever woken up feeling under intense pressure? I am talking about a  heaviness in your mind that will keep you up at night.

The crazy thing about pressure is that we all react to it in different ways. Some of us sink into themselves(depression), some deflect, some drink, some get violent, some start complaining, and some just learn to let things roll off their shoulders.

However you handle it, it’s something we all will face and have to deal with. Pressure often feels like we are in a real life popcorn popper.

Is anyone else ready to “Pop?”

“Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” Psalm 118:5-6

Earlier this year, before the COVID Pandemic, we had a huge birthday party for both of my son’s at a bowling alley. It was a big deal since we were paying for everyone to eat and to bowl. So I needed to hear back from people asap to know how much we would spend.

I was super excited to have everyone come and enjoy a couple of hours of carefree fun.

My dad came into town from New York, and numerous family members and friends RSVP’D that they would all attend. Literally we had thirty adults and children RSVP. The pressure was on.

As the time grew near, my stress level started to intensify. I tend to get really anxious about entertaining others because I am a perfectionist when it comes to throwing events. So eventually the stress caused some friction between my husband and I. 

I was so stressed and tense because I wanted everything to come together as I envisioned, that I put unfair pressure on him to be in the space that I was. (FYI-I do this every event so he is used to my shenanigans)

I simply could not understand how he could be so calm when everything, seemingly, was so chaotic.

I already knew that doing this would only cause unnecessary disagreements and arguments. All because I had an expectation and expected someone else to have the same one as well.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20

I will say, I had some apologizing to do. And the party went off without a hitch. The smiles on my boys faces were everything.

I then realized I was causing too much pressure on myself by having an expectation outside of what God already provided. God was already in the midst of this blessed event, but I was not satisfied with His provision.

Instead of having faith in not only myself but in the one who made all things happen, I allowed the enemy to confuse me into thinking I was not good enough to pull something incredible together. So, when I feel inadequate I take it out on the ones closest to me.

Anyone else handle pressure like this too?

It is these “little” instances that often decide how we will handle the larger situations. And believe me the larger situations will happen soon enough.

I am still learning to allow God to be my anchor when  I feel like I am sinking. 

He has already provided all that I need to successfully pass the test, I just have to open up my “faithbook” to use the answers from the notes I had written on my heart long ago. 

“Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” Proverbs 24:14

Finally I have to be honest and tell you that this year has brought about a few more meltdowns than I had expected, since I thought I had learned a lesson way back in February. But I will say even though this year has not been all I had wished for, it definitely has already been provided for.

My faith has grown more than I could ever have thought and in this second to last month to the end of this unprecedented year, I have understood more and more that God truly has the best for us…His children.

So in closing, I challenge you to keep the faith, keep your eyes on the hills from which cometh your help, and keep believing in the provision that God already has in place for you. Do not let your expectations outway what God has already promised.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” … Galatians 6:9

As always, you got this!

Sincerely,

Terryn